This · Means · Something

I've been writing a horror story. I decided my narrator's voice wasn't interesting enough, but changing her voice now pulls the story away from horror. And dangerously toward the comic. 

Weird.

Shaun of the Dead was comic horror, right? 

In other news, it's nearly midnight and I'm still awake. It's POSSIBLE I drank too much Charleston First Flush tea today. 

Because I am ~~~~AWAKE~~~~~.  

Crash may look more like a Ceiling Cat, but he must have some Basement Cat in him as he has, after a months-long campaign, at last led j_cheney  to the dark arts of Twitter. (Which probably explains why earlier in the day Crash exclaimed, "Meowhawhwha!!" in his most evil meow to date). 

Crash has more Twitter followers than I do. What gives? Is it because he doesn't talk about vampires and Futurama in his tweets? 

The awful thing: Crash hasn't friended me. *sigh*

Nor has he given me a fly to eat. Recently. 

Earlier this afternoon, I craved a hike and went for 6 miles or so RT on the Appalachian Trail, which is a few miles away from the casa. Other than the tornados, the weather has been most lovely this summer with low humidity and temperatures barely in the 80s. w00t. I entered the trail beside the 1890s farm and one-room school house and ascended a mountain. I did not take a camera, but did take Snapple, chocolate chip cookies, and chocolate covered pretzels. 

A short list of wild food I ate:

1. black cherries
2. black raspberries
3. dewberries
4. huckleberries
5. something that might have been a teaberry leaf; didn't taste much and decided it would be prudent to not continue eating it

A short list of animal encounters:

1. two baby raccoons
2. six-foot long black snake
3. One thru-hiker in his native habitat

Noises the baby raccoons made:

1. growl
2. hiss 
3. chirp-mewls

A short list of animals I'm glad I did not encounter:

1. mama raccoon
2. coyote
3. bear

First, I'm reading Clockwork Phoenix Deux.  While experiencing a little bout of Crash-related insomnia (possibly using the feline Jedi mind control yowl: http://tinyurl.com/ktxvmb), I picked up CP2 and read the best Dinosaurs on Mars story I have ever read. I told two of my coworkers today who both responded as you likely are: "But I've never read any dinosaurs on Mars stories." Trust me; Ann Leckie's "The Endangered Camp" is the best dinosaurs on Mars story you'll ever read. I may offer a fuller report on the anthology in the next few days following future bouts of Crash-related insomnia.

Second, I want a device that enables me to watch stuff on my television. Stuffs that I want to watch includeth: cbs.com (old Star Trek, all three seasons; old Twilight Zone archives), hulu.com ('cause I'm an alien and that's...oh, wait, that's not public knowledge), Netflix (I am an addix), YouTube...and...I think that's all (that I know of so far). Is there not a single device (besides a brand new laptop) that would stream all that to my TV? 

The peeps at Best Buy were remarkably unhelpful.

Me: I want to stream Netflix to my TV.
Knowledgeable Employee: Yeah, Netflix streams, like, every movie ever made.
Me: No, they stream 11,000-12,000, but the big bad movie studios are rights-controllin' freaks. 
KE: They stream EVERYTHING since the beginning of time.
Me: They don't even have every DVD, so, NO, they don't stream everything.
KE: Everything!
Me: No!
KE: Everything.
Me: No! 

And then when I walked out the door, I heard a whispered, "Everything!" and wouldn't you know the door closed too fast for me so I merely shouted to the windows, "No!!!!" (Okay, possibly I exaggerate.) 

In other news, I ate a Boca cheeseburger for dinner that was awesome. At least the vegan and cheeseburger varieties of Boca burgers are garlic-free (one of my migraine triggers being garlic...I like to avoid garlic like a vampire). And crispy crinkle cut fries. And it was awesome. I guess this last paragraph was more Twitter-worthy, wasn't it? But then j_cheney (who avoids Twitter like vampires avoid sunlight) would never get to see it.....

For those of you who fear Twitter (j_cheney ), I've come across some interesting articles lately.

Sponsored by the Department of I Don't Have to Make This Stuff Up: Horror story by author of the Ring printed on toilet paper in Japan: http://tinyurl.com/qmahpx

A $70 zombie flicks wows 'em at Cannes: Colin the Zombie.

Verlyn Klinkenborg, a columnist for the NY Times, recently wrote about the lost art of reading aloud. Klinkenborg talks about having writing students read aloud (although I'm not quite following what he's trying to say--possibly because I didn't read the article aloud), how audio books are alienating (I disagree; I think people are trying to make connections by listening to a performance by a human--our lives are so much less in company in which we can share a reading; imagine reading aloud on the subway--think companion riders would enjoy? I think not), and also the sensual nature of reading as one might see in a Jane Austen novel. 

So, it's a rare clear night and I'm getting off work at 10:something pm. I confess to my husband that if I were a dedicated stargazer, I'd be out staring at the night sky because it's rare that it's not rainy or cloudy in the summerish months here. In fact, it's about 30 degrees and people are burning wood in their stoves (I can smell), so it's about like winter stargazing. But I'm tired. 

A month ago, I'd mentioned that I'd miss seeing my favorite winter constellation (what? you don't have favorite seasonal constellations?). My husband asked if I had a favorite warm weather constellation? Indeed, I do. And I saw Scorpius for the first time this season tonight. As I point it out to my husband, what to my wondering eyes should appear? A shooting star. How cool is that? 

So, we saw Star Trek yesterday. I had fun, but it's just a shame there's clearly some sort of apocalyptic event so There Are No Women in the Future. (Well, to be fair, there's a wife (who doesn't speak; why should she?), a mother, another mother, a green-skinned girlfriend, and Uhura...and, well, they could have made Uhura's character a strong female...but...they didn't.).

Hey, they did offer the tagline: This isn't your father's Star Trek...instead of: This isn't your parents' Star Trek. I should have lowered my expectations. If nothing else, BSG should have shown that we can accept women in a space military setting. 

( Small spoiller hidden )

The theater I watched Star Trek in is interesting. It's a 12-theater venue that's not part of any franchise; it  was just built and owned by some guy (okay, he says it's "family-owned.") His theater was the first to feature stadium seating in Southwest Virginia. Back when I wanted to see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (not really standard fare here in Appalachia; the only other nearby theater was one that had a bonus cockroach crawling across the projector lens during I, Robot), I sent him an email request and he said he'd try to get it; guess where I watched CTHD? Yep. 

Anyway, he comes out before movies sometimes and talks to the audience. When we saw Monsters vs. Aliens a few weeks back, he talked about the 3D technology and how he thought it would help the movie industry (by which I assume he meant to distinguish the theater industry vs. the DVD end of the movie business). He also talked about how the makers of the 3D glasses were getting annoyed with the lack of recycling and threatening theaters with requiring movie-goers to purchase the glasses instead of renting them. 

Anyway, yesterday was a lesson in theater appreciation. We got to see one of 17 Dolby Digital copies of the movie; the theater we were in was the only one in a rural area. The project is a $150,000 digital projector (and the owner geeked out about the types of bulbs and such that went into the projector), which projects 1080p on the screen. The owner pointed out the screen was a silverscreen (most screens used to be silver, not white, but then the price of silver went up), which does a better job of reflecting light. And, yes, I was impressed with the color intensity and crispness of the movie on the screen.

The owner also talked about the 76-speaker system with "flyover sound" worked on the Lucas sound engineers. I was amused by the hydrowoofers behind the screen that get down to 6 hertz (not within human hearing range); yep, they are woofers using 600-gallon water tanks--aka, "water woofers." George Lucas said that a good portion of movie-watching was the auditory experience--thus his preference for Dolby sound. (I don't know; sometimes it gets a scooch loud in the theater for me.) Years ago, when we saw X-Men at the theater, the owner mentioned that the theater was where Hugh Jackman was planning to go to hear (not see) X-Men in the theater. 

On a related note, Star Trek twice used silence in the sound track to good effect. Interesting. 

I'm writing for a while this morning before going out later to fulfill Mother's Day obligations.

Anybody else writing?

I'm curious to see which will win today in the eternal battle of Self-Doubt vs. Writing. It'll be an interesting match. I have a ROCKING story hook, presenting a character problem so difficult I'm not sure how the writer will get the character out of that situation. The cat is helpfully standing on my desk, occasionally demanding petting. Soon his fluffy tail will helpfully drape across my keyboard.

Devon Monk's Magic in the Blood arrived yesterday, resulting in the following conversation. 
Husband: Are you finished reading it yet?
Me: I'm on page 3?
Husband: Yet?
Me: Second paragraph, page 3 now. 

Er, let them WRECK cake, CakeWrecks-style (which is the second best use of the internet*), in honor of Theatre Illuminata's upcoming debut. 

Hrm; think Mom would like a fairy WRECK for Mother's Day? 

* The best use, of course, involves some meows.

Dear Worthington Foods/Loma Linda/Kelloggs:

Deep down, you really hate vegetarians, don't you?

Re: This list of discontinued products

First Tuno, now Wham. What's next? All 

Also, when I try to use your web contact form to address my concerns with you, your web site gives me this message: "Sorry, an error occurred. Please make sure JavaScript and cookies are enabled in your browser and return to the previous page to try again." 

Bah, I say! Bah! They be takin' my WHAM!!!! NoooOOoooOooo!!!!

Signed,
Disappointed Vegetarian

I'm really cranky Richelle Mead's next Vampire Academy book will not be out until August. AUGUST, I tell you. What is WRONG with this world?

The Vampire Academy books are everything that Twilight wasn't (yes, I've read Twilight). VA has some hot stakin' action.

Speaking of, I went to the eye doctor yesterday and, as I was reading in the exam room, the assistant asked what I was reading.

"Jim Shepard," I said, then added apologetically, "Literary short stories."

The assistant said, "I just started reading a book."

I tensed up.

You know what was coming next, don't you? 

Sometimes I just wanna carry around a stake, ya know? 

Did I mention that I'm cranked up that I have to wait until AUGUST?!?

Friday, Crash had to go to the vet to get his blood pressure taken (who knew?).

Crash was not happy about discovering his schedule, but he had a healthy kitty blood pressure of 155/120 or so (the low number is perhaps a bit high, but  he was stressed from the drive). A healthy heart rate of about 190 beats/minute (normal range is 140-220). Sans drugs, he screamed for only the first 20 minutes and the last 10 minutes of the drive (he knows what it means to pull off the interstate). I took his little self-warming pad and put that on the table so he wouldn't be on cold metal and petted him constantly so he stayed pretty calm--even though we had to hold him bodily on his side to take his blood pressure (five times). The pressure cuffs are so cute! They're like little bitty kitty arm-sized strips of velcro named "Critter Cuffs." 

He gave a curious meow every time the pressure cuff inflated. I can't believe I forgot to take a real camera; thus, we're stuck with a cell phone pic. The v-e-t kindly allowed Crash to sniff the equipment. 



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This part of Georgia is surprisingly pretty. I say "surprisingly" because I like to see topographic change, but at best, you can say the landscape here rolls (I can't go so far as to say "rolling hills;" I just don't see any hills). 

When I started planning to come to Georgia, I was told that the weather would be "not as hot as summer." Aiee! Meanwhile, it's a frigid 50. And windy. But who am I to complain when it's snowing at home? I feel for Crash & Co. 

I gave a presentation to a film class today on the filming of Starship Troopers, as well as some other cinematic photography locations. The class watched The Fountain...er, naturally, I fixated my discussion on the dual creative and destructive role of the supernova...Interestingly, supernovas create all the elements, including the gold in the ring seen throughout the movie. 

I'm stunningly happy...being away from The Day Jobbe. 

I wonder if Crash would like to view the strange bird life here in Georgia?